sPiT ShiNe SkaT

poops
Life in photos
( GUNK )

shit god damn so i had to get my thumb stiched back together about three weeks ago, cut it in half the long way threw the nail they had to sew through my freakin nail. i got pictures soon so there for could practice with the band until today could play when we went to the recording studio and basically it sucked 10 stiches later after i got them out it split back open the next day now i have a weird looking thumb and just as it start\ed to feel better i get a staph infection in my fucking arpit that leakes staph every where and looks like a giant worm hole..... so gross.. but i got A couch finally and a tv so im happy.

k well i havnt written in here is sooo long and i dont really know what to write now. COMMUNICATION is sooooooo frustrating for me with friends, lovers, pretty much every one.
underlying issues???? i dont know why or what id going on but i cant figure any thing out . i want somthing i get it and then it somehow gets screwed up.errrrrr frustrating sometimess i think i am an entierly differnt person that what people see and know, i want to go on a quest mabey a treasure hunt or some thing.

friday night hick fights

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i suck at communicating.. i dont want to be shy.. i nearly shit my pants today when i had to present a project for school because i was so nervous, but i dont know how to controll it, it just floods me my palms get sweaty i get shakey my mind draws blanks my hearts starts punding. i dotn think people take me serioulsy because of the way i look, and my height, i know it sounds lame but to most people i am just cute little kaitlyn, syd wants me to be more assertive which i understand, it shouldnt be hard to tell some one to back off when they'er hitting on her, and it sounds easy in my head but when the situation is present i just shut up and i hate it. i cant tell people what i am acutally feeling, its frustrating beyond belief. sydney is so smart and sooo confident and knows how to say exactly what she means, and i just mumble and say sorry alot and draw blanks. it Sucks soo bad. , and am just constantly nice, and trying to fix and make every thing ok, and when i do get mad it always seems like its not for the right reason or what i am trying to get across is completely wrong. . i gotta get this confidence thing ove with, frank said tellamarkiting is a good way. im passive, i brush things off to easily. i've never been one for drama or gossip, and its hard for me to have a problem with some body. they gotta do something that really ticks me off. like derick he pissed my off to the point where i wasnt gunnna brush his bull shit off and he got decked in the face.., i really don thave problems with alot of people and if i do im not the type to show it.

uhhhhh... i fucking hate my job, i have never had a boss as bitchy, rude, and as STRESSFUL as glenda. i am convinced she is the spawn of satan, and the shitty hours, shitty work and shitty pay is just shitty, but hey at leats i have a job right?
i think i am very tired of my dad, he doesnt act like he does when he is around other people like he does when its me and him, ever since we moved into this house he has been soooo fucking depressed or some shit that he just poops around and hates life, most likely cuz he has no money any more. and it pisses me off that he goes to that fucking clinic every morning, i know its "helping him" but whatever. everything in the house has to look like its never been touched, school. is almost non existent, the teacher i need is never there so i never go. on the sunnyside syd got out of the hell house and in with meh. its nice to have her here and not just my dad. oh ya now my mom is moving here......sweet......i dont get it seems like its totally normal to every one else but i just am fucking stupid or something cuz it freaks me out.



i think its the weather.

mehhh im almost done with SCHOOOL.. sweet, poop poop i lub my poop been stayin wiht syd .... very nice , i hate the pita pit... halloween was fun got wasted

new baby kitty

mmmmmmmmmmmmm

dont mess

take dat fool


shit.

soooo. i got up all early today so i could go to the soup kitchen to cram in as many hours of comm. service by the 10th as i can. i got down to 11th and Commerce at like 8 somthing and i couldnt find where the 45 was spose to coem so i was long boarding down commerce and there was a bus driver workier dude n the other side of the road and he yelled something at me so i turnd my head to look and he said soem thing else . and just then i hit a HUGE concrete piller.. it allllllmost knocked me out but i had split my eye/eyebrow open.... i stumbled to my feet and sat down, the old fart came over and gave me a tissue and explained why im not spose to skate down here to me while i was bleeding all over and in alto of pain. he called then med peeps adn they took me away. where i got a cat scan and three stiches. i got a concusion i guess. but i also have a huge bump and a bruised cheek...

keep rockin it suckers


skat

MEHHHHHHHHHHH


fucking wasted..





































duh

uhhh. just had a crazy weekend. we all wanted to go camping so we packed our shit and left. we decided to go to long beach and then we decided to go to sea side. It was rainy and cold and there was something going on to EVERY FUCKING hotel was booked to we drove around for a hour and were all pissed off an d ended up ataying at a camp ground in a cabin that we didint pay for. then we went to sea side aghain and played and got drunkon the beach and shit. then our good friend derik decied to get fucking trashed on the car ride home. and by the time we got home he was very drunk and started being really fuckign stoopid . but he ended up getting punched in the face by me. and thoughting and fire extiguisher oat the door and running around dowtown screaming and then he got arrested..
ditched out on work today .... tired .. and i think my finger is gunna fall off and my cat has fleas.. on a lighter nte i kick ass at mortal combat

pride was gay.... went with manduh, t-dog, shyanne, and sarah, had a good ol time drank some sparks (duh) danced met up with steph and that posse then hung with syd and rion, saw some fine babes. then THEY all left cuz they WERE going to stay in seattle. so i went with shyanne and sarah cuz they were taking the bus home TO. i followed them to many bars and got booted out of a couple and by that time i was sober and they were pretty damn drunk, and we had to mob to down town from the space needle so we could get on the bus by 11.15, it was like hurding sheep... then passed out on the bus. and then kyle took me home , then amanda calls me when we were on the bus and say they got a ride back to tacoma from rion and sydney.... .gay.

im going to p-hole for da july 4th holiday. very VERY happy about this.

i love fucking your hip bones gorl.


fuck you ..


broham got a cadi.... on switches


up the sweet rides

i think the world stopped

folk life was like a breath of freash air..

grannnndpa
( 20$ wigwoms )

i got somthing called false hope, i belive in things that will never happen to much and its driving me crazy. but if you love something like, REALLY love something, how can you let it go? please tell me cuz i want to let go sooo fucking bad. for soem reason i got a feeling im not gunna last. at all , its a fucking weird feeling to cuz i want to go far and shit but i really dont think i will, imgayimajunkedupfoolidonthinkifuckmeyouandyoursupand I CANT STOP, i dunno shits fucked, watch me go ass holes, i fucking got it , you fucking dont, why am i the only one. fuck you

ha

bahhahaha so shyanne came over last night at like 1.30 and brought sparks for my b-fag. and i was already kinda fucked up and so was she and it was fun we tried to tattoo eachother and now we have some sweet blobs on our wrists and she stayed the night good good. going to feed the squirrles today in wright park with lex-z come join if you wish . then dinner.. then talks of p-hole with shyanne just for tonight and a little bit of tommorrow . you know ... im 18 bitches

( so my teeth bleed )

do i really have to make it that fucking blunt..... what the fuck.......... i have been trying to TALK to somebody for so fucking long..... why doesnt any body listen??? I was LISTINGING to Syd the other night and fucking tears were rolling down my face because of what she was saying about me, not in a bad why just the fuckedup shit that i have BEEn doing just got to me..... and she put it right out there.... BUT it is what it is, a couple weeks ago i had some amazing people backing me up in my shit and since then i have not talked to them once.... sorry if i belive in what people say to me but i am a very trustworhty person. fuck being 17. fuck work. fuck gas. fuck school. fuck social lifes. fuck sex. fuck role modles. fuck trust. FUCK RELATIONSHIPS. fuck crushes....... fuck my dad.. fuck fake.. fuck pressure... fuck changing subjects.. why the FUCK am i in my own world all the time. if i open up to every body........ i will sit and listen to your fucking problems and give you the BEST advice that i can fucking give and try to understand your shit BUT nobody can just let me spill my fucking mind about alllllllll thheeeee FUCKING shit that is going onnnn im my fucking head and not JUGDE me about it???? WHAT THE FUCK ...
i have been there for more than enough people.... but to TRY and get that back and to get the same fucking support is FAR AND wide there are only TWo people that understand me in some sort of a way to have any idea what i am fucking talking about and that is my moonshine mamma, and Tank girl (youknowhoyouare).... i am not sorry if that offends any of you because clearly you have not taken the time to get to know me like they have... but what ever, i will just fucking sit here and loose my fucking mind like the rest of humanity and pretend i am "ok" because when i "sober up" tommorrow .... NONE OF THIS FUCKING BULLL FUCKING GOD DAMN PIECE OF MOTHERFUCKINGSHIT...... will matter. soooo dont i guess.... dont worry about me kids..... i will let my brain crumble away in my head and none of you will know about it... call me crazy.. call me a fucking ginuesss. but fuck this shit....i am not about to let something good go to waste.


fuck cunts

and


fuck you to

oh yeah and all my fucking teeth are gunna fall out








fuck it, im fucking insane

i really want you and the rest of this world to shut the fuck up . i dont know what i am dooing. but getting fucking shit face drunk every night i fucking working so just let it be. im fucked up. thats it. how hard is that to fucking understand, i lead, i follow , but most of the time i am fucking lost and thats all right with me. people say they will help me out and shit, but i dont count on it i have so many fucking problems and shit to deal with that i cant bring my self to tell any body about, and the few that know are only the few that care. so just fucking stop, im fucking drunk at 6.14 in the morning and have nothing to say except fuck you, i get pissed off at stupid shit when none of this matters. none of it, every body is Fucked up, just not im the sa,e ways, so fuck YOU , fuck him, fuck HER, but most of all fuck me.

fuck life